· Having an unhealthy liking for Offal
· Harbouring a sick sexual desire for Angela Eagles Muzzie.
· The re-emergence of Charlie Dimicks nipples.
· Saying 'Bunkum' whilst trying to appear angry.
· Backstabbing a nice genial Hippy.
· flicking chickpeas at your cat.
· Blaming Corbyn for the Christmas shits.
· Calling everyone 'Jack'.
· Pseudo pricks.
· Agreeing to disagree .
· Proclaiming in a boastful manner that you have a small penis.
· Shoplifting a single Mushroom.
· Hoping your ex was caught up in the Turkish coup.
· Jonathon Owens’ Mrs.
· balsa wood undies
· salt n pepper ribs
· Coming out of a coma (go ‘ed Elaine! And Les!)
· (Persian) Merseyside Corduroy lingerie
· Discussing Octopi
· Nights out with your best mates nan
· Mouthing swear words at the priest during Mass
· Watering your tele
· Wearing anal beads with pride for Sunday mass
· Paolo and Donetti’s
· Leeds fans back at Anfield
· Planting a sausage
· Deciding to deviate
· Filling your mates toilet tank with porridge oats
· Onion Banjo’s
· Bumfluff butties
· Re-growing your old flick
· Cold custard straight from the can
· Deliberately being a cantankerous twat
· Curry pasties
· Christmas knickers
· Christmas Kickers
· Slow mo wanks
· Punching the wall and breaking your hand when LFC score against you in the last minute, in the derby
· Filling your socks with stuffing and pineapple chunks
· Drinking a pint of gravy
· Throwing ollies at leccy legs
· Furry dicks
· Christmas undies
· Signing off every message with a turban emoji
· Getting Lynx Africa again
· Getting drank under the table by your daughters
· Gear stick wanks
· Remembering Pete Burns, fondly.
· Proper WOOL colleagues commenting..on anything
· Craving a carvery
· Having no empathy
· Snobby ex punks, thinking they are the only punk that mattered or existed
· Having beef on FB
· Twitter experts
· Bulging ball bags covered in soup
· Stalking Don Letts
· Wools using scouse expressions
· Getting offered Charlie every 10 yards when you’re walking down a street in Portugal with your teenage daughters.
· Saying "just wow",
· Korean billy (annoying little prick)
· Zlatan’s vagina
· being sociable
· Coffee sandwhiches
· Knowing about cars
· Noticing the noticeable bulge
· Fantasising about covering Theresa May with salt and pepper flavouring
· Brass bands at the match
· Political posts on social media
· Not having a filter
· Chirpy cockneys
· Fashioning a bra from the Liverpool Echo
· Bootle Blert (Nuttall)
· Grey beards
· Hillsborough songs in The ‘Angus
· Sensitive soles
· Leccy Legs
· Ignoring yer mates calls
· Not writing any ins & Outs for 10 months
· Drinking your mates present
· Defending Simple Minds
· Mustard smoothies
· The UB40 family divorce
· Hiding the MDMA under your forskin